Laws of Attraction: Let’s Get Practical Part 1

BoyMGirl2

Disclaimer: I believe…

  • in the sovereignty of God.
  • that God’s timing is often not our timing.
  • that no one can provide a surefire-money-back-guarantee on how to find the love of your life.

-However

I think that some of us could use some practical advice about attraction and dating. So, if you will indulge me, here are my two cents.

1. You Are Physically Attractive

Everyone may not find you physically attractive, but there is someone who does. In fact there’s probably someone, in your current sphere of influence, who thinks that you’re pretty awesome

But…

2. Sexual Attraction Is NOT Just About Physical Beauty

Despite what reality television would have us believe, not everyone is trying to date the hottest person they can find. To be honest, sure, most people want to date someone they find attractive, but they (we) are usually looking for other qualities too.

Think about it, consciously or unconsciously, we put potential partners through a filter.

Is the object of our affection…

  • single?
  • gainfully employed?
  • emotionally stable…?

Do they…

  • share my religious beliefs?
  • share my values?
  • bathe regularly….?

So here’s the thing, if you’re finding that you are not getting the kind of attention you would like,

Consider the following:

  • Are there any areas of your life that need improvement? If so, it might be time to do a little work.

-However-

  • If after talking to a friend (who’s not afraid to be honest with you) you come to the conclusion that you’ve got your act together. It might be time to take a look at your social environments.

After all…

3. Like Attracts Like

Simply put- We enjoy being around people who are similar to us.

For example:

  1. Healthy people like healthy people.
  2. Ambitious people like ambitious people.
  3. Religious people like religious people.

And so on…

So, as I said, take a look at your social circles.

What do you have in common?

  • Are you around the same age?
  • Do you have similar drives and interests?
  • Do you have similar life goals and values, etc.?

Because if you don’t, the likelihood that there will be a mutual interest for both parties is small.

What I’m not saying is dump all the social activities where you are around people who are “different” than you (e.g. church, small group, volunteer organization, your job).

But, what I am saying is that it would be a good idea to seek out social situations where you are not the proverbial “odd man out”. Because the more you hang out with like-minded people, the more likely it is that you will have positive relational experiences.

This dynamic is so important, because…

4. Our life experiences tend to have a domino affect on our self-esteem

Most of us don’t like to be repeatedly rejected.  So the more positive experiences (romantic or otherwise) that you have with the opposite sex, the more confident you’ll feel.  In turn, that increased sense of confidence will make it more likely that you’ll be attractive to other  people.

And another thing… (To be continued in Part 2)